A Wonder of the Modern Age

The new iPad from Apple computers is scheduled to be released in about a month. Considering all of the applications it will make available along with those of the still fairly new iPhone, the average consumer must have every possible communication tool he could ever need right at his very fingertips. Or does he?

The possibilities are still unlimited. Let’s take a look into the future and see what might be on the drawing board next.

“I wish I could feel a more personal connection with my friends when I text them, said a Miss Conceptions of Needles, California. “And there seems to be that element missing when I receive their texts.”

Well, Miss Conceptions, get ready to be up close and personal with people again when you use the new Chatterboxx, a revolutionary new concept for the iPad.

Apple has just introduced Chatterboxx, which allows users to actually transmit their own voice over the phone to other iPhone or iPad users.

And if that isn’t enough, the other iPad owner will even be able to hear the original user’s voice transmission and can send a voice message of their own, merely by speaking into the iPad. And this can go on for an unlimited number of minutes.

The Chatterboxx application is available to download for a mere $49.99.

“We feel we are entitled to charge a little more for Chatterboxx because we are saving our users the cost of high medical bills they had been receiving in the past for textor’s thumb,” said Tex Support, a spokesman for Apple.

Consumers have responded favorably to Chatterboxx so far. They have been buying up the application in droves. When contacted for comment, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said, “They have? When did we approve this?”

“You can do a lot more than just tweet here,” said Mr. A. Kutcher of Los Angeles, California. “Chatterboxx is a lot more than just idle chatter.”

It comes with additional downloads which can enhance everyday conversations. Chatterboxx has numerous categories among its users. If they so choose, these users can chatter, chirp, whine, grumble, kvetch, plotz, beef, holla, chillax, and biii-atch for only $9.99 per download.

Sources are saying that the Better Business Bureau is taking issue with Chatterboxx. They claim that the iPhone is already equipped to call others and hold conversations with them. They say the application is nothing more than an unnecessary expense and Apple is trying to take advantage of busy, stressed out consumers.

“Consumers are too busy checking their e-mail, the internet, or texting others when they use their iPhones,” according to M. Daemon of Apple research and development, who refused to give her hometown location for this interview. “They need Chatterboxx close at hand to make conversations more convenient for them. It’s not just a call with Chatterbox. It’s a Chatterrific experience!”

Despite its initial successes, Chatterboxx has still received a few complaints. Mr. RDH from Wenonah, New Jersey says, “This application eliminates the fun of ringtones. I used to always know when my friend Greg was calling because I used the theme from Cats as his ringtone, and now all I hear is him talking. I asked him to sing the theme from Cats for me the first time I used Chatterboxx, and he hung up on me. That was very rude.”

When it was reported to Mr. Support that some of Apple’s customers appeared to be quite uninformed, he replied, “We have no control over how many users just bought the iPhone because they enjoy the farting application. Chatterboxx encourages conversations which will increase the exchange of information, thereby circulating knowledge. If we have to accept a few extra dollars just to keep this knowledge going, then that’s just what we’ll have to do.”

“I always thought the iPhone was just for surfing the internet, listening to music, and taking pictures,” said Mr. Cisco of Lindenwold, New Jersey. “It’s hard to believe it took us until the 21st century to come up with the technology to allow phone conversations.”

Tex Support reminds users,”Be sure and text all of your friends about Chatterboxx. When they learn that they can actually hold a conversation with you on their iPhone or iPad because of Chatterboxx, they’ll be sure to text you back and tell you how excited they are.”

I used to spend so much time surfing the internet on my iPhone just searching for ways to hold a simple conversation with friends that I received numerous thumb and wrist injuries,” said RDH. “Now with Chatterboxx, my medical issues are at an end.“

Well, maybe not all of them. Mensa membership will not be in RDH’s future. But Chatterboxx might be. Hey, I just got a text that said stranger things have happened.