Life As We Know It

There will be times in your life when you realize that the blueprint did not go as you had originally intended. Down the line you’ve taken one too many wrong turns on that information superhighway. It happens to all of us.

I still enjoy the simpler pleasures in life, like reading the Sunday newspapers at the Ground House coffee shop in Pitman. The store contains a television, which at this hour was featuring infomercials. It’s a real simple maneuver to ask someone to change the channel. But instead I began watching these.

The first show advertised the “Big Boss Grill,” which was being promoted by actress Vicki Lawrence. Vicki, probably about my age or a shade older, is probably best known as Mama from the old Carol Burnett Show, and was probably trying to expand or revitalize her career. I’m sure Mama’s Family money only carries you so far.

This show was then followed by an infomercial plugging the “Power Juicer”, featuring 95 year old fitness expert Jack LaLanne. The Ground House is located across the street from a gym, so I considered the possibility that a few power juicers were over there right now loading up the bench press. But I continued watching the program.

Mr. Lalanne’s product was clearly a blender. This man, who normally tows battleships or something by himself on each passing birthday, is leaving quite the legacy to his next of kin. Or else he’s taking an awful lot with him. Still quite admirable.

On my birthday the heaviest thing I lift is a large piece of cake or a glass of wine. The day after that I grab my notebook and newspapers and return to the coffee shops. I hope they have a defibrillator nearby in case I am overcome with the excitement. Damn, Life is good.