Guys: Making It Happen

During last week’s break in the cold weather I was reminded of how important guys are to the course of human nature. A guy’s ability to keep the important things in perspective observes no weather limits.

The temperatures had rarely advanced beyond thirty degrees for the previous two weeks, but last Friday the thermometer cracked fifty. Clearly enjoying this added warmth. I saw a guy taking his convertible out for a drive. With the top down.

It was fifty degrees outside. It wasn’t twenty-five degrees outside anymore, but fifty isn’t exactly my idea of a heat wave. Being a convertible owner myself, I appreciated the brilliance of this man all the more. He made me feel smarter.

I only felt smarter by default. Default isn’t always a bad thing. If I can appear smarter by dumbing down the other people in the room, then let it be done.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve added to my own guy tendencies with an expanded array of wimplike maneuvers. One would be not risking the chance of pneumonia for the ego trip of driving around with the top down anymore.

Although that picture has long been burned into my self-image. I see myself bundled up in a fur hat with ear flaps complete with a scarf and perhaps two overcoats patrolling the town.

It’s a beautiful sight, really. I would be cruising around like that on a year- round basis with a block of Barry Manilow blasting on my satellite radio system. This is why guys are vital to the rotation of the earth on its axis.

What a babe magnet this guy is. The women would be all over me. Well, on a good day they might be a hair closer than ten-foot pole distance. You can’t be too careful, you know.